Has this July has been intense for everyone? We had a solar eclipse that opposed Pluto on the 12th, Mars is still retrograde, Mercury is stationing rx this week, and Leo season will begin with a lunar eclipse in Aquarius. I’ve been dealing with it by eating chips and crying, hbu?
Eclipses usually come in pairs – a lunar eclipse follows a solar – but (for a reason I don’t know and am too lazy to Google) there are sometimes three in a row. This year we’re getting that third bonus eclipse – woot! – on August 11th, in Leo…which means drama. There’s so much going on in the upcoming one in Aquarius on the 27th according to my girl Nadia (read her blog!), it might be best to just lay low for a while and stay out of trouble…sheesh.
I’ve been having a particularly emo Cancer season after finding out the Aquarius I was obsessing over for a year and a half was hiding an entire relationship from me (how do air signs lie so smooth?? I mean, wtf, can any Aquari weigh in here about morals…). I’ve been up, down, angry, sad, delirious, apathetic. I mean, how you gonna do an Aries like that? I’m well aware it’s fishing with dynamite, but just because something is easy doesn’t make it right.
Yesterday, after listening to a LOT of Abraham Hicks and getting on that LoA vibe, I felt like maybe I can forgive him. (I don’t want to jump in too early because my friends and family who have been listening to me go on about energy vampires and the empaths they prey upon will be pissed.) Cancer season means victim-mentality, and I’ve been researching cluster B personality disorders and warning people to watch out because 20% of the population has one (!)….but maybe it’s not that black and white. I am an empath, yet I have developed some Cluster B (Aquarius?) behaviors as a defense mechanism. Maybe he did too.
Last night, I had a dream that I was back at my parents’ house and he was there, still kinda cold and detached, but trying to win back my trust: giving them things, making promises, and actually sticking to them. Then my mom and I were out in the yard, and there was this werewolf coming towards us. We got back into the house safely., but I realized he was still outside. I was beside myself with worry but they wouldn’t let me go out and help him. Then he came inside and showed me his hand; he had been attacked, and his hand was all swollen with giant claws, like he was starting to transform into a wolf.
He had that objective Aquarius fascination, turning his hand over and over to look at it, and then he finally shrugged and went back outside to finish whatever he was building in the back yard. Everyone else went back out and continued about their day, and I stayed inside and watched him work, help my dad lift something, his hand already going back to normal. I realized I was the one afraid to go back to regular life, and I was staying safe while everyone else was living.
I like to hide, I’ve got a 12th house Aquarius South Node that keeps me immobile a lot of the time, forgetting to take care of my body, forgetting to connect with other humans, forgetting to actually live. But I don’t want to just give up and call it a day. I’m gonna put down these chips and go enjoy the rest of my Sunday.