Cancer Season Sucks

dog-647528Has this July has been intense for everyone? We had a solar eclipse that opposed Pluto on the 12th, Mars is still retrograde, Mercury is stationing rx this week, and Leo season will begin with a lunar eclipse in Aquarius. I’ve been dealing with it by eating chips and crying, hbu?

Eclipses usually come in pairs – a lunar eclipse follows a solar  – but (for a reason I don’t know and am too lazy to Google) there are sometimes three in a row. This year we’re getting that third bonus eclipse – woot! – on August 11th, in Leo…which means drama. There’s so much going on in the upcoming one in Aquarius on the 27th according to my girl Nadia (read her blog!), it might be best to just lay low for a while and stay out of trouble…sheesh.

I’ve been having a particularly emo Cancer season after finding out the Aquarius I was obsessing over for a year and a half was hiding an entire relationship from me (how do air signs lie so smooth?? I mean, wtf, can any Aquari weigh in here about morals…). I’ve been up, down, angry, sad, delirious, apathetic. I mean, how you gonna do an Aries like that? I’m well aware it’s fishing with dynamite, but just because something is easy doesn’t make it right.

Yesterday, after listening to a LOT of Abraham Hicks and getting on that LoA vibe, I felt like maybe I can forgive him. (I don’t want to jump in too early because my friends and family who have been listening to me go on about energy vampires and the empaths they prey upon will be pissed.) Cancer season means victim-mentality, and I’ve been researching cluster B personality disorders and warning people to watch out because 20% of the population has one (!)….but maybe it’s not that black and white. I am an empath, yet I have developed some Cluster B (Aquarius?) behaviors as a defense mechanism. Maybe he did too.

Last night, I had a dream that I was back at my parents’ house and he was there, still kinda cold and detached, but trying to win back my trust: giving them things, making promises, and actually sticking to them. Then my mom and I were out in the yard, and there was this werewolf coming towards us. We got back into the house safely., but I realized he was still outside. I was beside myself with worry but they wouldn’t let me go out and help him. Then he came inside and showed me his hand; he had been attacked, and his hand was all swollen with giant claws, like he was starting to transform into a wolf.

He had that objective Aquarius fascination, turning his hand over and over to look at it, and then he finally shrugged and went back outside to finish whatever he was building in the back yard. Everyone else went back out and continued about their day, and I stayed inside and watched him work, help my dad lift something, his hand already going back to normal. I realized I was the one afraid to go back to regular life, and I was staying safe while everyone else was living.

I like to hide, I’ve got a 12th house Aquarius South Node that keeps me immobile a lot of the time, forgetting to take care of my body, forgetting to connect with other humans, forgetting to actually live. But I don’t want to just give up and call it a day. I’m gonna put down these chips and go enjoy the rest of my Sunday.

#Leoseasonbegins #imaRAMnotalamb

Advertisements

Astrology Aspects and Life Lessons

Recently, I found out that someone I was friends with, and romantically involved with for a time, has been deceiving me ever since we met early last year. He was – and as far as I know, still is – in a long term relationship that began before I knew him, and he hid this from me all the while.

Since I found out, I feel like I cannot trust anymore. But I realized today that energy exchange is just another life lesson. Some exchanges are easy, and some are not.

In astrology, this exchange is reflected in mathematical aspects. There are two types: easy and hard. Easy aspects are comfortable, so you enjoy them but don’t learn. Hard aspects are painful, but the source of growth.

If you have planets that are conjunct one another (at the same degree of a sign), they work in tandem. It’s not something you perceive, it’s just part of your subjective experience. This can feel good or bad depending on the nature of the planets and sign.

This man and I had conjunctions between our charts, notably involving both our Lunar South Nodes which means past-life connection and karma. He felt so familiar to me from the moment I met him, and I felt intimate with him quickly.

Trines (120º) are harmonious energy that flows between two planets in the same element;, and is barely noticeable it’s so comfortable. Growth doesn’t come from trines, they are just there for lubrication.

Sextiles (60º) are easy, but noticeable because they are different but compatible elements (earth/water or fire/air). Because you feel it, you can use it to your advantage (but only if a hard aspect spurs you to action).

The square (90º) is the hardest aspect, a clash between signs in different elements that do not get along. This feels tense, and you will feel compelled to take action. But it is also what keeps creating the feelings of excitement and freshness in a relationship. (He and I had tons of squares.)

The opposition (180º) is a challenging aspect acted out with another person, trying to find balance. This one gives you the most perspective. Therm there’s the inconjunct (150º) which is a mix of discomfort and potential talent, between signs that have zero in common.

What I’ve been feeling today, is that some people are going to love you, some are going to hate you, and some are going to be completely ambivalent towards you. There’s really nothing you can do about how another person feels, only about how you feel and how you allow people to treat you. People who just like you and treat you well require little work, and therefore little learning comes from them. But the ones that don’t treat you well are the ones you learn from, and end up discovering new things about yourself.

Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely, and angry about what happened to me, and sad. I feel like a magnet that has been pried apart from another, and I don’t like to feel that way. But I also feel like I learned a lot about myself this past year and a half, and maybe I’ll know how to defend my boundaries better in the future.

Solar Return 2018

candle-3285223_1280

Yesterday was my birthday. I got a deep tissue massage at the spa next door, went to a salt cave for an hour to release toxins, and finally, went into town for a tarot card reading. What a packed day! It was a personal 9 day so I was feeling the release vibes, but got a little moody and emotional by the end.

I also thought this is a great time to do a post on the solar return. This is the time of year when your sun returns to the exact degree (right down to the minute and second of the degree) that it was when you were born. It is usually on your birthday, or a day before or after. The location you are in matters, too.

It’s easy to calculate if you use astro.com, because their extended chart selection has a solar return option. Here is mine for this year:

astro_2at_solar_2018_abby_hw.54104.34671.png

It is interpreted much like a natal chart, but only good for one year. I usually refer to Mary Fortier Shea’s Solar Return book when trying to figure out what areas a person is going to focus on during their upcoming year….it’s a phenomenal guide, and very detailed. The sun is the most important part, specifically what house it falls in (because it will always be in the same sign and degree as your natal chart), and the aspects it makes to other planets. Mine is in H3 this year, loosely conjunct Uranus, and square Pluto (yay!).

The sun will be in the same degree as your natal chart, but everything else is generally different. Your rising for the year depicts how you will interact with people, the SR moon represents your general emotional climate for the year, Mercury represents how you will give/receive information…same as a natal interpretation. You can look at the chart as is, but it also reveals more depth when you compare it to your natal chart:

astro_61at_solar_2018_abby_abby_hw.54446.16552.png

You can see aspects between the charts when you use the “synastry” option under extended chart selection. For example, my SR ascendant in Aquarius squares natal Uranus in Scorpio…interesting. Also, my SR Venus in Taurus is exactly conjunct natal Chiron…yikes! You can also look at how the houses line up with one another: all those Capricorn 12th house planets line up with my natal 11th house. Issues regarding friends, groups, hopes and wishes are going to be significant this year, but I may not be able to access them on a conscious level because they fall in the SR H12…that’s one interpretation of how that will play out.

There is another method I have read about using for the Solar Return chart calculate, called a “precessed” chart. This is when you find the time of the SR in sidereal (what they use in vedic astrology) rather than tropical because that is technically more accurate on a real-time level… then once you find the time, make a chart of that exact moment in tropical. I have read that some astrologers have more success with this method, so I usually look at both. Here is my precessed 2018 SR chart:

astro_2at_abby_sr_2018_precessed_hw.54761.23008

Equally interesting, because the AC/DC line is exactly opposite my natal, same degree. This also makes the coming year more significant because there is a planet and asteroid conjunct one of the angles (those are always the most significant years)…moon and Juno. When I have looked back at my solar returns, the precessed chart does tend to be a more accurate depiction of what occurred that year.

The SR is not great for timing or predictions, because it’s more about what you are focusing your energy on that year, and the internal changes you experience. Since the sun is your identity and life purpose, this is a chart primarily about how you are evolving in those specific areas. You can do return charts for other planets like Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and the dreaded Saturn return. (Again, interpretation is based around the planet you are focusing on.)

The worst SR I ever had was a giant grand cross, just planets grouped together all squaring and opposing one another! But that was the year I bought my home, ending a long-term relationship, and at the end of the SR got fired from my job. Major year! I ended up growing a lot through all the contrast. The years that you have all trines and sextiles, you might not do much. Years you have a lot of water will be emotional, a lot of Cardinal will be self-starting years (maybe not a lot of follow-through), if you lack earth you may not be too practical that year, etc. I’m happy to see a nice little bucket formation in this year’s SR, and a good mix of elements and modalities… hopefully things will go well. I’ll let you know next birthday!

Mercury Rx Insights

ireland-1985088_1920.jpg

This Mercury retrograde in Aries has been giving me all sorts of insights to my own behavior, and life in general. It hasn’t been awful for me personally, although I have some friends going through hell during this retrograde. But the Libra full moon was quite dramatic…I got really sick with a stomach bug, and then new (noisy!) neighbors moved in, and I had a meltdown and berated everyone close to me for not offering to bring me anything because I live alone. Then I berated the neighbors for being noisy. Then I was done and had to apologize for the berating, then I got berated by someone for apologizing…it was an endless cycle.  But I feel better now!

As mentioned in my previous post, I switched to WSH system last year, and the spark that set it in motion was realizing that in whole signs, my own Aries planets are in the 2nd house, not the 1st. I got berated (yup) recently by air sign friend for being a subjective thinker, but the truth is, that’s how natal Mercury in Aries functions. I have oppositions to planets in Libra (including Saturn) so it’s not like I don’t consider things carefully; but my decisions tend to be at a gut level first and foremost, and after deliberation I usually circle back to my first instinct anyway. That’s how fire signs work. Also, it’s not my fault Aquariuses over intellectualize their emotions, just saying.

But the thing that struck me about having a 2nd house stellium was the Taurus-y feel. I am Taurus-y on many levels. I am actually very resistant to change, which wouldn’t be someone you’d see in my Placidus chart. But historically I have stayed in relationships, jobs, and residences past their expiration date because I fear the potentially worse situation that could develop if I were to try something different. The 2nd house is all about self-preservation, security, stability, sensuality, material things, self-worth issues….that is all my jam. I typically try not to rock the boat, until a certain point when I crave transformation and burn everything to the ground myself. You can see it natally in the hourglass opposition between my Aries/H2 and Libra/H8 planets, especially Sun-Pluto (my chart is posted on the About page).

Since becoming more cognizant of my own tendencies, I have made an effort to open up and trust the universe, and embrace changes. It is my personal 1 year in numerology so everything I do now is setting me up for the next decade (no pressure!) and I don’t want to be stuck in the same job industry/role, relationship patterns, or even the place I live for the next 9-year cycle. I really don’t. But part of embracing change is getting used to discomfort, I have discovered. If you’re comfortable, you’re not changing. If you’re not changing, your dying. There’s no utopian future where everything lines up and works perfectly…it doesn’t exist on this plane. That’s called death.

Whole Sign House System

I made a significant change to my astrology practice a couple months ago: I switched to whole signs. Prior to that, I was using Polich-Page (which is more or less identical to Placidus, the most popular Western astrology house system and typically the default on any website that generates charts). However, I read some compelling arguments that convinced me to make the switch.

It started with this article by Michelle at AstroFix, who attended a lecture by Demetra George about the topic. To be honest, Michelle’s article alone was enough. Reading this was an epiphany… it changed my whole perspective!

Also, this article by Marina at Darkstar which goes into more depth about the history of whole signs and how it fell to the wayside, and a PDF by Chris Brennan listing 12 reasons why WSH is best. I’m not going to try and explain it myself, because they have done an excellent and thorough job already.

Whole signs offers what I have been looking for: simplification. WHS does not take the Ascendant and put it on the cusp of the 1st house, nor does it put the Midheaven on the cusp of the 10th (gasp!). Instead, the sign of the Ascendant is the 1st house, and the zodiac lines up from there. No splitting signs between houses, no intercepted planets. The angles are no longer house cusps, but sensitive points.

To illustrate the difference, here is my chart first in Placidus, and then in whole signs:

Placidus.png

WSH

You can see in Placidus I have multiple intercepted signs and planets, but all of that is removed in WSH. Signs line up with houses perfectly. This speaks to me because I already practice the concept that sign boundaries are hard lines (Mars at 29º Cancer and Venus at 0º Leo are not conjunct, as an example). To be frank, it spoke to me on a personal level first, because in WSH my Aries and Libra planets moved to H2/H8 respectively, and it was like I saw myself for the first time. Everything in my life made sense in an instant!

It’s nice to still be able to have those aha! moments, even after a lifetime of practicing astrology. Although I haven’t done any readings since the switch, I will be using this house system for all readings going forward, and I feel like it will really take things to the next level.

A New Year of Numerology

I can’t believe it’s 2017…where did this past year go? It feels like just yesterday that I was sitting down to figure out all that I was going to accomplish in 2016, my personal 8 year.

This is a universal 1 year for the world. That means that unlike last year, which was filled with death and emotional turbulence, this year will be about new beginnings. For me  it is a personal 9 year, which will be filled with….death and emotional turbulence (yikes!)

What’s yours? To calculate your personal year, just add your day and month of birth to the current year. For example: my birthday (April 13th) added to 2017 goes like this:

April = 4

13 = 1+3 = 4

2017 = 2+0+1+7 = 10, and 1+0 = 1

4 + 4 + 1 = 9

Easy, right? Here’s what to expect in a nutshell:

1 – New beginnings, the start of your new 9 year cycle, learning lessons of authority and independence, change

2 – Ego takes a back seat to relationships and harmony, learning lessons of compromise, diplomacy, and patience

3 – Creativity and self-expression are paramount, expanding your life, experiencing joy and stretching to new heights

4 – Laying foundations under the dreams of last year, hard work, fixing what’s broken, creating stability

5 – The “snow globe” year that shakes you up, expect the unexpected, go with the flow, live in the now

6 – The love year that focuses on commitments, duty, family, giving and receiving love, and home

7 – A quiet, contemplative, and solitary year of retreat. Time to meditate, do research, and center yourself

8 – The power year of accomplishment. Learning lessons about personal power, financial gains/losses, and success or failure in business and career

9 – The end of a cycle, emotional release, giving back to others, letting go of outdated people/places/things

These are basic explanations, but you can hone in on what’s happening month-by-month by adding the number value of current month we are in to your personal year. For example, if you are entering into a personal 5 year, then January is a 6 month (5 + 1 = 6). So although you are entering into a year of change and turbulence, January in particular will be focused on responsibilities and loved ones.

Happy New Year!

Happy Sagittarius Season!

The Sun has entered Sag! I love this season because everyone is so much happier and full of hope.

The Sun entered Sagittarius on November 21st and will leave on December 21st. So it starts with a gluttonous feast (Thanksgiving) which is appropriate, and ends on the first day of Winter. I have a theory that most people don’t start worrying about Christmas until the Sun moves into Capricorn, and that’s why there is such a ridiculous rush to get all the last-minute shopping done!

But December is all about parties, fun, decorations and lights, and eating nice things. That basically sums up Sag. To me, the Sagittarius spirit is embodied in Santa Claus. The only way the magic works is through belief (a major Sag/Jupiter theme). That belief can control a child’s behavior the entire month. Just think about what organized religion has done to control the mass population for millennia!

Remember when you were a kid and how magical this time of year was? Yes, you had to try to be good or Santa wouldn’t bring you any presents, but that never actually happened. But mostly it was the thought that someone was out there waiting to shower you with presents.

I think that’s the real magic, having faith that something is out there and loves you unconditionally. It’s a time to enjoy life and realize that most religions are celebrating in their own way this season… the same miracle in different cloaks. Sag’s ugly side (argument and competition) can get people on a soap box about their POV, and that would be a shame….to waste the holiday season arguing semantics.

Happy Holidays 🙂