This is my probably my favorite holiday (but I think that about every holiday when it comes around!). The thing I love about Halloween is that death is celebrated, and all the scary stuff is talked about openly and enjoyed. I really loved being spooked when I was a kid, and I grew up in the 80’s with movies like Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm Street, and the Shining…so it wasn’t too hard to be terrified. But I’ve also always had a strange affinity for everything Halloween: witches, ghosts, black cats, pumpkins, fall, and especially candy! I also love that this is originally a pagan holiday, and that the veil between this world and the nonphysical is the thinnest, tonight.
I have always felt – having natal Sun opposite Pluto – that I have a foot in each world. One in light, one in darkness. (A major factor is that I grew up with one parent alive and one dead, but that’s a story for another day.) I was born on the 13th, and they say a person born on that day inherently understands death. It always made me feel a bit weird growing up, but Halloween was the one time of year that it was alright to bring out the weird! I also have unaspected Uranus in 8th house Scorpio, so I embrace weirdness involving the dark side.
But there’s another reason I feel connected to Halloween: I’ve had this reoccurring dream since childhood and I don’t know what it means (although I have this theory that I died in Atlantis). The dream always begins the same: it’s the morning of October 31st, and I’m caught unawares that Halloween is here. I am excited, and get busy because there’s lots to do. When I was little, the dream used to be that my mom hadn’t yet finished my costume and I was worried. Then I got older, and it became about making plans with friends. As an adult, the dream often takes place in Salem (I’ve been there many times. They hold a month-long Halloween celebration called Haunted Happenings, and yes I also think I was hanged for witchcraft in a past life).
Morning becomes afternoon, and the dream changes. I start to panic, because whatever I’m doing is taking much longer than planned. The sun slowly sinks in the sky, and instead of making progress more things are put on my plate. Then night descends. I often run around seeing other people in their costumes, having fun, trick-or-treating, enjoying the party. Everything is beautiful, decorations are pretty, people are celebrating, and I like what I see around me but there is something holding me back from it – I am searching for a friend, or I forgot something and have to find it – so I can’t participate yet.
The dream sometimes ends here, but it often goes to this next horrible phase. It’s the “post-Halloween” late night, that time when as a kid you were at home sorting your candy, because people had turned their lights off and stopped giving out treats. I wander around alone in the cold, never having found that friend or costume. The streets are now empty, houses are dark, lights are off and the candles in jack-o-lanterns have been blown out. It’s too late, I missed Halloween. Whatever I was trying to do, I failed. Everyone had their fun and went home, and I am still out wandering in the darkness.
(Then I wake up.)
I hope your Halloween is much more enjoyable than that! 🎃👻🍭