This Mercury retrograde in Aries has been giving me all sorts of insights to my own behavior, and life in general. It hasn’t been awful for me personally, although I have some friends going through hell during this retrograde. But the Libra full moon was quite dramatic…I got really sick with a stomach bug, and then new (noisy!) neighbors moved in, and I had a meltdown and berated everyone close to me for not offering to bring me anything because I live alone. Then I berated the neighbors for being noisy. Then I was done and had to apologize for the berating, then I got berated by someone for apologizing…it was an endless cycle. But I feel better now!
As mentioned in my previous post, I switched to WSH system last year, and the spark that set it in motion was realizing that in whole signs, my own Aries planets are in the 2nd house, not the 1st. I got berated (yup) recently by air sign friend for being a subjective thinker, but the truth is, that’s how natal Mercury in Aries functions. I have oppositions to planets in Libra (including Saturn) so it’s not like I don’t consider things carefully; but my decisions tend to be at a gut level first and foremost, and after deliberation I usually circle back to my first instinct anyway. That’s how fire signs work. Also, it’s not my fault Aquariuses over intellectualize their emotions, just saying.
But the thing that struck me about having a 2nd house stellium was the Taurus-y feel. I am Taurus-y on many levels. I am actually very resistant to change, which wouldn’t be someone you’d see in my Placidus chart. But historically I have stayed in relationships, jobs, and residences past their expiration date because I fear the potentially worse situation that could develop if I were to try something different. The 2nd house is all about self-preservation, security, stability, sensuality, material things, self-worth issues….that is all my jam. I typically try not to rock the boat, until a certain point when I crave transformation and burn everything to the ground myself. You can see it natally in the hourglass opposition between my Aries/H2 and Libra/H8 planets, especially Sun-Pluto (my chart is posted on the About page).
Since becoming more cognizant of my own tendencies, I have made an effort to open up and trust the universe, and embrace changes. It is my personal 1 year in numerology so everything I do now is setting me up for the next decade (no pressure!) and I don’t want to be stuck in the same job industry/role, relationship patterns, or even the place I live for the next 9-year cycle. I really don’t. But part of embracing change is getting used to discomfort, I have discovered. If you’re comfortable, you’re not changing. If you’re not changing, your dying. There’s no utopian future where everything lines up and works perfectly…it doesn’t exist on this plane. That’s called death.