Recently, I found out that someone I was friends with, and romantically involved with for a time, has been deceiving me ever since we met early last year. He was – and as far as I know, still is – in a long term relationship that began before I knew him, and he hid this from me all the while.
Since I found out, I feel like I cannot trust anymore. But I realized today that energy exchange is just another life lesson. Some exchanges are easy, and some are not.
In astrology, this exchange is reflected in mathematical aspects. There are two types: easy and hard. Easy aspects are comfortable, so you enjoy them but don’t learn. Hard aspects are painful, but the source of growth.
If you have planets that are conjunct one another (at the same degree of a sign), they work in tandem. It’s not something you perceive, it’s just part of your subjective experience. This can feel good or bad depending on the nature of the planets and sign.
This man and I had conjunctions between our charts, notably involving both our Lunar South Nodes which means past-life connection and karma. He felt so familiar to me from the moment I met him, and I felt intimate with him quickly.
Trines (120º) are harmonious energy that flows between two planets in the same element;, and is barely noticeable it’s so comfortable. Growth doesn’t come from trines, they are just there for lubrication.
Sextiles (60º) are easy, but noticeable because they are different but compatible elements (earth/water or fire/air). Because you feel it, you can use it to your advantage (but only if a hard aspect spurs you to action).
The square (90º) is the hardest aspect, a clash between signs in different elements that do not get along. This feels tense, and you will feel compelled to take action. But it is also what keeps creating the feelings of excitement and freshness in a relationship. (He and I had tons of squares.)
The opposition (180º) is a challenging aspect acted out with another person, trying to find balance. This one gives you the most perspective. Therm there’s the inconjunct (150º) which is a mix of discomfort and potential talent, between signs that have zero in common.
What I’ve been feeling today, is that some people are going to love you, some are going to hate you, and some are going to be completely ambivalent towards you. There’s really nothing you can do about how another person feels, only about how you feel and how you allow people to treat you. People who just like you and treat you well require little work, and therefore little learning comes from them. But the ones that don’t treat you well are the ones you learn from, and end up discovering new things about yourself.
Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely, and angry about what happened to me, and sad. I feel like a magnet that has been pried apart from another, and I don’t like to feel that way. But I also feel like I learned a lot about myself this past year and a half, and maybe I’ll know how to defend my boundaries better in the future.