This is my favorite holiday. The thing I love about Halloween is that all the scary stuff is openly enjoyed. I really love being spooked, and I grew up in the 80’s with movies like Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm Street, and the Shining…so it wasn’t too hard. I also have an affinity for everything Halloween: witches, ghosts, black cats, pumpkins, fall. I also love that this is a pagan holiday, and that the veil between this world and the nonphysical is the thinnest, tonight.
I have natal Sun opposite Pluto. One foot in each world, one in light, one in darkness. (A major factor is that I grew up with one parent alive and one dead.) I was born on the 13th, and they say a person born on that day inherently understands death. I always felt a bit weird growing up, but Halloween is the time of year when it’s alright to bring out the weird!
There’s another reason I feel connected to Halloween: I have had a reoccurring dream about it my whole life. The dream always begins the morning of October 31st, and usually I forgot that it’s Halloween. I am excited, and get busy because there’s lots to do. When I was little, the dream used to be that my mom hadn’t yet finished my costume and I was worried I wouldn’t get to go trick-or-treating. When I was a teenager, it was about scrambling to make plans with friends. As an adult, the dream typically takes place in Salem, MA (where I’ve been in real life several times on or around Halloween).
Morning becomes afternoon, and the dream changes. I start to panic, because whatever I’m doing is taking much longer than I planned. The sun sinks in the sky, and instead of making progress, new things crop up that I have to do. The last part of the dream is when night comes. I am typically running around desperately trying to finish all my tasks so that I can join in the fun, but in most of the dreams I never seem to make it. I’m searching for someone or something and don’t even know what it is, at that point. I see everyone else having fun and before I know it, Halloween is over and I missed the party.
The dream usually ends here, but sometimes it continues to a post-Halloween night phase. I wander around alone in the cold, never having found that friend or finished my tasks. The streets are now empty, houses are dark, lights are off and the candles in jack-o-lanterns have been blown out. Everyone went home, and I am still out wandering in the darkness. It’s really quite horrifying, and when I wake up I have this harrowing feeling and sometimes I am breathing heavy. But usually the dream ends before this phase. In more recent years, I actually do get to enjoy the night at the end, and it’s a good dream (thank god because I was starting to think I have real psychological problems).
Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🍭